Can you imagine a mother taking the adopters to court, trying to argue that they are breaching the order (if there is, in fact, contact clearly articulated in the adoption order)?”

The adopters will have a thousand reasons why the order should not be followed – late to a visit, uses drugs, too demanding at visits, and smelt of alcohol at a visit, child not interested, not polite at previous visits… you watch the excuses come thick and fast.

That mother would be dragged through the mud, and then have to ‘justify’ why she should see her own child – who she may barely know.

She would have a hard time arguing her case if she had put a toe out of line.

Then there is the impact of the adopters on her child, if she dares challenge them in Court.

And who pays the legal bill?

The State certainly wouldn’t – the mother would be expected to foot the bill.

No-one! No-one should be relying on good will in an open adoption.

The adopters cannot ever be trusted, as the institute of adoption ensures they have the power, control, resource and ultimate say in what happens with the child.

Their insecurities will ensure that ‘good will’ goes out the window when the reality of contact is brought to the fore.

They’re living in an alternate universe if they think ‘good will’ can underpin an adoption order.

 It is fanciful. It is unrealistic. It is not legal.

My understanding is that once consent is provided, and the 28 day revocation period has passed, the child is no longer the child of that mother. He becomes a child of the State.

 Then the legal relationship is between the State and the potential adopters. So the mother will have no further voice.

What goes into that order is for the rest of that child’s childhood/life.

The mother is not present in Court when the Order is made – has no idea of what has gone into the order.

 The adopters will either be there, or be legally represented. They know exactly what they wish to see go into that order.

 They will ensure they get it. The only time a parent might have a comeback is if the level of contact is clearly articulated on the adoption consent form.

However, I’m unsure, as the adopter’s legal rep could argue that these are only ‘wishes’!

 It gives everyone an out because of the way the consent form is written, and then what is written by the mother (or agency) will be heavily influenced by the agency and its agenda.

What mother, at the time of consent, understands enough about the legal consent form to ensure that she clearly articulates what level of contact she wants, and writes it in a way to makes it very clear that her consent is provided on that basis.

 This form is a tick the box, predominantly – carefully structured to pretend that it gives choice to mothers… but has no teeth when push comes to shove.

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