“Only in adoption would such an excuse be used, and supported legally.”
It’s an absolute travesty that people exist who feels this type of thinking is acceptable.
Only in a selfish world would such behaviour be welcomed or even encouraged.
I guarantee adopters who do this (under anything less than the most extreme circumstances) don’t feel they’re being selfish; instead, they feel they’ve blessed the child with the highest of favours.
At our last “once-a-year-for-a-few-hours-and-always-at-last-minute-notice” visit, the adoptive father of our daughter’s son commented, “we thought we were changing his life, but instead he’s changed ours.”
I was thinking to myself:
‘First if all, we never asked you to ‘change’ his life, we asked you to ‘enrich’ it.
Second, of course he’s changed your life.
You’ve made it abundantly clear that’s why he was adopted.
He knows your love is contingent upon him ensuring ‘your’ happiness, not his.
Even if it means he’ll never feel comfortable calling us Grandma and Grandpa, because you ‘tell him” to call us Miss & Mister instead; he’ll behave that way because that’s how you’ve ‘trained’ him. And you, no doubt, will have the audacity to think he refers to us as such by ‘choice’. In reality, his actions, who he becomes, will be the by-product of your ‘training’, not your encouragement & support of him to form his ‘own’ identity.’
It’s been proven time & time again that many adoptees refer to themselves as “good” or “bad”. Gee, I wonder why that is?”